Sunday, January 31, 2010

Dame Ordinal Leaves

I have been reading about the situation regarding Ordinal Malaprop's departure from the Grid with both sadness and interest. Mainly because as of late, I have often felt the same way.

Her concerns about the recent LiLa acquisition of Avatars United aside, I can understand the sense of logging in and feeling as if you are unproductive as a creator. Or unwilling to deal with whatever the latest drama the Grid or its citizens throw your way. I know that for me, logging into SL lately has been bringing more apprehension than enjoyment and I have always said that when it gets that way, why bother?

I used to love being inworld and creating and blogging. I used to love attending social events and exploring the Grid. I've gotten so tired of hearing about other people's dramas as they rant/complain/gripe their way through their time inworld. Why are you even in SL if it all sucks that much for you? That, combined with my own lack of motivation to create, has been a great source of inworld stress for me and you know what? I've been doing other things instead. I'm sure that it'll kick in and I'll be creative again. At least I hope so. Dia and I have talked a lot about "reclaiming one's SL", whether through downsizing, reinvention or taking a break from it (as I have been lately) to make it fun again. We can't be the only ones that have felt this sense of ennui.

As for Dame Ordinal, she's quite the inventor, scripter and personality. I took the pic above when we both got stuck at her shop in Caledon about 2 years ago. I was so excited to meet her for the first time. We had a great conversation and she demonstrated her latest product for me. Her presence--especially in the Steamlands of SL--will be missed.

4 comments:

HeadBurro Antfarm said...

Hi Elle, I need to think about a lot of what you said in here to formulate a response that says what I feel. You've touched on a HUGE subject (at least for me) and I don't want to rush a reply.

Eladrienne Laval said...

Take your time HBA...

I know that for me, this is something I've felt for quite a while. Ordinal's leaving just brought it all into focus again for me.

I know I am not the only one that feels this way.

Newbe Writer said...

I must say that leaving does not necessarily make one long for things as they were. It did not help me to reclaim my SL, but rather I'm now considering reinventing my SL.

I've maintained an in-world presence only in as much as I've needed to pay the meter. Purchases of my products have been enough to keep things pretty much at the break-even point. I've made the slightest of profits (enough to buy a coffee and a donut) over the past year, so I've not needed to worry about the affordability of in-world life.

But I've been logging in more frequently lately. Changes in my life have made me long for friendships that had languished because of my absense. RL pressures have waned somewhat, thus affording me the luxury of online time.

It's not the same. I still love steampunk. I still love Victorian speculative fiction. I just don't love the ongoing drama. Also, having been gone for so long, I really don't know anyone anymore. I feel lost.

I know that I can feel found again, but it will take my own effort. But without my friends, I question if the effort is warranted. At least, is the effort required to maintain a presence in my current state warranted? I just don't know.

The long and the short of it is that I'm back. I'm working on my projects. I've had renewed interest in the things I want to do and will work on those.

I will rekindle my friendships with those that will accept me. I will mourn the loss of those that will not, but I will move on. The absense has done me good, but it hasn't helped to improve the sense of distance I had felt prior to my hiatus. Instead, it has solidified it.

But that, I think, is a good thing. I will maintain my current plot in Steam SkyCity because I need a regular location in which to build. I just wish I had more prims available. I'm hovering with about 30-50 that I can play with at any given moment, but that just isn't enough.

Ok, I'm rambling....

Although I'm a resident of Caledon, I am not a part of Caledon any longer. But I felt that before I left. I am beginning to feel the enjoyment of creating in-world again. Interestingly, my most recent designs (other than the steampunk lamp set) have been decidedly non-victorian steampunk. They've been very modern. Perhaps even post modern.

Being gone has allowed me to drop the feeling that I was obligated to be a certain way. That had become a sore spot with me. On the one hand, I wanted to grow, but on the other, I felt I needed to stay within character. I remember discussing this with you some time ago.

Now that I'm back, I intend to go back to my old ways of wearing jeans and a t-shirt to do my builds. I want to get down and dirty. I want to be me! And I will.

I just hope to see you there as well from time to time. 8-)

Eladrienne Laval said...

Newbe, I get what you mean...

I love steampunk and the Steamlands, but got away from seeing outside of them more often. And the thing is...SL really is an inspiring world creatively. I've often felt stifled or guilty about my lack of productivity as a creator, which bothered me.

Like you, I think I just want to do something different in it. I come in to talk to friends, but I have pulled away from SL in general. I love to build as well, but don't get the chance much due to prim restraints. Now I'm starting to ramble too.

I'm glad to see you back again. I have really missed you.